So I’m minding my own business yesterday when I get the notification that someone has messaged me on the dating website.  I could use a break from reviewing some lengthy agreements, so I take a look:

Sigh.  I roll my eyes.  I complain to Dawn.  I answer “no” in my head and I’m about to proceed with my life.  But then I got an idea!  An awful idea!  30WITHCATS GOT A WONDERFUL AWFUL IDEA!  “I know just what to do to!”  30withcats told Dawn!

I decided to make a game to entertain myself and waste this guy’s time.   (Afterwards, I realized I may have been inspired by this TedTalk I watched this weekend.)  I’m still working on the name of this game, but it goes like this:

1. Put on a playlist on my iPhone and press shuffle when receiving a message.
2. Use a lyric from the song that comes on as a response.
3. Repeat steps 1 &2 until it’s no longer entertaining.

And so it begins.  I put on my pop music playlist and the first song that comes on is I Don’t Like it, I Love it by Florida.  I don’t want to go too far over the top on the first message because then the game won’t be nearly as much fun, so I go with the following:

 

He takes the bait.

 

Um… Yea… Joel…The one and only thing you should be sorry about in this interaction is that your profile is empty.  Definitely not your opening message.  That was totes cool.

The next song that comes up is Downtown by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.   I like the song, but the lyrics do not make a ton of sense, even in the context of the song.  This one is a challenge, but I must stick with the rules. (Though note, I think the rules need to allow for one skip).

As you can see, the Downtown lyric doesn’t go over well, but luckily the next song is Black Magic by Little Mix.  So I can easily bring this game back on course.

I absolutely promise the following picture is the response that I received:

I died.  I’m still dying.

Next song is Dangerous by David Guetta.  Ok… Now is the time to take this to a new level of weird.

At this point, I know I’ve gone too far and he’s going to figure it out, but instead, I get this gem (which I Google because I think he must have caught on and this can’t be real, but I can’t find the reference):

I’m legit speechless and I think he may be trying to play along with the magic theme that I introduced.  Next up is Same Old Love by Selena Gomez, followed by Fun by Pitbull ft. Chris Brown.

Notice that he thinks that this is going well enough that he thinks we’re going to text.  I start to get kinda bored, so I switch from my pop music playlist to all Adele songs on my phone.  First up is Hello, then Take It All.

That is a good guess, though I’m slightly sad because he seems oh so very charming.  Then he adds:

Whoa whoa whoa whoa.

I thought we had a real connection here ?!?!?!  You started with “Do you need a f*ck buddy?”  That’s a big commitment that you are now shying away from.

After a few more messages, he started to realize I was playing some sort of game and so it became less fun, but I’ll leave you with this final screenshot:

AM I ON DRUGS?!?!  Who does IrieBless22 think he is?!?!  Good day, Sir.  I said good day.